I Am My Own Wardrobe Malfunction

Britney Spears isn't the only one who can't dress herself properly.

• I put my belt on backwards. I was well into my twenties before I discovered that that most people put their belt on by going around the left hip first. The first time I had a belt with a logo on the buckle, I discovered that the logo would be upside down if I kept doing it my way.
  
  
• I can't do up the buttons on a men's shirt if I am facing them. When I'm hanging my shirts up, I put them on the hanger and then turn the hanger around so that the buttons are facing away... in other words the same direction they face when you're actually putting a shirt on.
  
  
• I don't understand how guys can rest their sunglasses on their forehead. When I put my sunglasses up, I have to wear them almost all the way up on the top of my head or they'll fall down. It doesn't seem to matter how tight the arms are, they will not stay on my forehead.
  
  
• While we're on the subject, I also lose pairs of sunglasses constantly. I won't buy any that cost more than $20 because I know I'm either going to sit on them or leave them on the table at a restaurant.